City folks may have trouble coping with the onslaught of computer terminology. Country folk have no such problems, by Crackie!
This glossary is offered with apologies to my dear departed ancestors…
| Log On: | Makin’ da wood stove hotter |
| Log Off: | Don’t add no mo’ wood! |
| Monitor: | Keepin’ an eye on da wood stove |
| Download: | Gettin’ da farwood offa da truck |
| Megahertz: | When yer not keerful gettin’ da farwood |
| Floppy Disk: | Whut ya git from carryin’ too much farwood |
| RAM: | Dat thang whut splits da wood |
| Hard Drive: | Gettin’ home in da wintertime |
| Prompt: | Whut da mail ain’t in wintertime |
| Windows: | Whut ya shut when it’s cold outside |
| Screen: | Whut ya shut when it’s yer mos-keee-toe season |
| Byte: | Whut dem danged mos-kee-toes do |
| Chip: | Munchies fer da TV |
| Microchip: | Whut’s left in da bottum of da munchie bag |
| Modem: | Whut ya do to dem hay fields |
| Dot Matrix: | Ol’ Dan Matrix’s wife |
| Laptop: | Where da kittykat sleeps |
| Keyboard: | Where ya hang da dang keys |
| Software: | Dem dang plastic forks and knives |
| Mouse: | Whut eats da grain in da barn |
| Main Frame: | Whut holds up da barn roof |
| Port: | Fancy Flatlander wine |
| Enter: | Yankee talk fer “C’mon in y’all” |
| Random Access Memory: | When ya can’t r’member whut ya paid fer da rifle when yore wife axes |
| Mouse Pad: | Hippie talk fer rat hole |
| Crash: | What happens when ya ain’t lookin |