E-Mail

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
You name your first two children “Eudora” and “Dotcom.”
You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you’d just pulled the plug on a loved one.
You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap and your child in the overhead compartment.
You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet.
You laugh at people with 14.4-baud modems.
You start using smileys in your snail mail.
You find yourself typing “com” after every period when using a word processor.com
You can’t call your mother; she doesn’t have a modem.
You check your mail. It says “no new messages,” so you check it again.
You don’t know what gender three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral screen names and you never bothered to ask.
You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you Landscape.
You tell the cab driver you live at http://1000.garden/house/brick.html
You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
After reading this message, you immediately e-mail it to a friend.