| 10C |
Vancouverites turn on the heat. Manitobans plant gardens. |
| 5C |
Victorians shiver uncontrollably. Winnipegers sunbathe. |
| 3C |
Italian cars won’t start. Winnipegers drive with the windows down. |
| 0C |
Distilled water freezes. Winnipeg’s water gets thicker. |
| -5C |
Torontonians wear coats, gloves and wool hats. Manitobans throw on a t-shirt. |
| -10C |
Quebecers clear out for Florida. Manitobans go swimming. |
| -20C |
Toronto landlords finally turn up the heat. Manitobans have the last cookout before it gets cold. |
| -25C |
People in Vancouver cease to exist. Manitobans lick flagpoles. |
| -30C |
Calgarians fly down to Mexico. Manitobans throw on a light jacket. |
| -40C |
Hamilton disintegrates. Manitobans rent some videos. |
| -60C |
Mount St. Helens freezes. Winnipeg Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door-to-door. |
| -80C |
Polar bears begin to evacuate the arctic. Manitoban Boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” classes until it gets cold enough. |
| -100C |
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Winnipegers pull down their earflaps. |
| -114C |
Ethyl alcohol freezes. Manitobans get frustrated when they can’t thaw out the keg. |
| -183C |
Microbial life survives on dairy products. Manitoba cows complain of farmers with cold hands. |
| -273C |
ALL atomic motion stops. Manitobans start saying “Cold enuff for ya?” |
| -300C |
Hell freezes over. The Winnipeg Blue Bombers win the Grey Cup. |
